June 9, 2010

out with the old, in with the new

As of yesterday, I am officially a "stay-at-home mom."

It was the last work day before summer break at the high school I left in September, so I made it a point to appear and turn in my resignation. While I knew in my heart that I'd be staying home the moment I laid eyes on the little guy, the decision to leave my job was still a difficult one to make.

Although I'd only been at the school for one full school year before having a baby, I forged a lot of friendships with the other high school teachers and administrators. Being a small school, there was a real family atmosphere among the staff, which helped to make difficult weeks a little less stressful. It's hard to think that I won't be seeing any of those people again on a routine basis, let alone an intermittent one. I'm sure I'll keep in touch with some of them, but it won't be the same. It seems that the things that bond coworkers together are experiences that happen at work ... Experiences that I will no longer be a part of.

In a strange way, I will also miss the students ... Well, some of them. I always thought that I'd be there to see some of my favorites (who will be seniors in the fall) graduate. I mean, I could certainly show up at the ceremony, but I won't be around for all of the senior year fun. Again, I will be missing out on all of the things that make teaching so worthwhile ... All of the little moments between class where the real lessons are taught.

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful that I'm being given the opportunity to stay home with Malcolm! I just feel like I'm losing half of my identity in the process ...

When asked "What do you do?" in conversation with new people, I will no longer be able to describe my life as a teacher. I will no longer be able to talk about my work day or share funny stories about class occurrences. Instead, I will be relegated to tales of my day at home.

What did Malcolm get into?

Did he have a good day, or was he crabby?

Did he do anything cute?

How much house work did I actually complete?

What did I make for dinner?

Not exactly the most interesting conversation starters.

And, besides, I don't want to be one of those women that only talks about her children or her life at home. While I am a proud mother, there is so much more to me than just that.

Oftentimes, I feel that "stay at home moms" carry a stigma along with them ... That they are uneducated, complacent baby-making machines.

This is not me.

I have a Bachelor's degree in Biology and almost a Master's in Education. I love learning and I love furthering myself by expanding my mind with new information. I'm not the type of person that is happy doing nothing. My best days are ones in which I feel productive ... Ones in which I know that I have accomplished something. To me, there's nothing worse that sitting around and being bored! I honestly can't wait until Malcolm is old enough to appreciate places like the zoo, or the library, or museums of all types ... Then we can visit some of these places and learn together.

I feel like I have done too much for myself to allow others to put me in a neat little box based on a single aspect of my life.

I don't want the phrase "stay at home mom" to define who I am, even though I am proud and privileged to be one.

1 comment:

  1. Just received my cheque for $500.

    Sometimes people don't believe me when I tell them about how much money you can make by taking paid surveys online...

    So I took a video of myself getting paid $500 for paid surveys.